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Knowledge Base

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Signs of Abuse

It can happen with married couples, intimate partners and same sex couples. 

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How to Leave

Every situation is different. Be careful on how you plan. Here are some suggestions.

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Terms to Know

Learn terms and steps to protect yourself.

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Signs of Abuse

Signs of Abuse

Signs of Domestic violence or abuse, can happen with married couples, intimate partners and same sex couples. You may be experiencing some of these signs from your partner (male or female).

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  1. Controls your finances. (take your money)

  2. Accuse you of cheating.

  3. Blames you for the way he acts.

  4. Isolates you from your friends & family.

  5. Physically hurt you (punch, kick, spit, slap & hit you with objects)

  6. Tells you what to wear & how to look.

  7. Controls what you do.

  8. Threatens to kill you or someone in your family.

  9. Embarrass you in front of others.

  10. Lock you in the house.

  11. Forces you to have sex with him/her.

  12. Keep you from working.

  13. Make you feel like nobody will love you.

  14. Call you all kind of names (ugly, stupid, fat,)

  15. Criticizes you.

  16. Check your phone for text messages, voicemail & social media.

  17. You are afraid of him/her.

Prepare to Leave

Prepare to Leave

It is not always easy to leave your abuser at time, every situation is different. Be careful on how you plan. Here are some suggestions. It may work for some but not for others. Please use wisdom.

Always make sure you have pictures of bruises/injuries and the date of incident, keep in safe place.

Get a bag together and keep in a safe place for when you have to leave.(extra spare keys to the car, birth certificate, name of  domestic violence shelters, change of clothes, driver's license, money, family/friends phone numbers, medication, your personal credit cards.

Prepaid phone, so the abuser cannot track your location.

Make sure you back your car in the driveway, Keep driver door unlock   for quick escape and keep the other doors locked.

Make small preparations to leave even if it is weekly.

Share with a trusted friend/family member of your plan.

When you leave, file for PPO(Personal Protective Order)

Change your passwords on all your accounts.

You do not have to give your real name at Women shelters, use fake name for extra caution for the moment.

Check to find out your legal rights for you and your children. Shelters have resources you can use.

You may only have time to leave with just the clothes on your back but know where you are going for safety.

Leave when its safe.

Terms Words

Terms & Words

A Personal Protective Order
 

What is a PPO: It is a court order that protect you

from someone who has threaten to be violent or

someone who has been violent to you, including

sexual assault.

 

You have to go to court house and file for PPO.

 

The judge may give you a temporary order until

you go to court. This order is called.Temporary Ex Parte Protective Order.

 

PPO Can order the other person: Not to hurt you or threaten you,not to contact you or go near you or the children, family members, home or work. Not to havea gun or license to carry one.

 

The PPO order can be in effect up to 2 years.




What is Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation
in which a person sows seeds of doubt in a individual,
making them question their own memory, perception, or
judgement, often evoking in them cognitive dissonance

and other changes such as low self esteem.

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